So We're Getting Married

So, I’m getting married.  In a way it’s a thrown together, shotgun wedding. In another way this wedding has been a long time coming.  A mere four weeks and two days ago Jeff “officially” proposed (that story to come later) and this Saturday we’ll be married.

I know a lot of people are wondering how all this came about as we haven’t widely advertised our relationship. I’m writing this post as an attempt to fill in all the pieces.

Jeff and I met in May of 2011 and he immediately felt an attraction. I, on the other hand, took a little longer to feel anything.  Jeff pursued me for about three months and I eventually was convinced to give him a chance.  We had our first official “date” on August 11 of 2011. To be totally and completely honest our relationship has been rocky almost from the start due to both our own stubbornness and selfishness and the disapproval of my parents.

Last year ended horribly for us and I really did not see us being together in 2012. So much of the end of last year and the beginning of this year is a blur to me.  I think so much happened that it’s hard to remember everything and also that to a certain extent my mind doesn’t want to remember so I’ve just blocked it out.  All I can say about that time is that a lot of mistakes were made by both Jeff and I and we hurt a lot of people along the way including each other. 

Somehow, we survived all of the mess and in February Jeff moved back to North Carolina.  I moved up here in March to be closer to him.  Since March God has been working in both of our lives and  growing and changing us.  We have been forced to deal with a lot of things in our lives from our stubbornness, pride and selfishness to the hurt that we’ve caused for a lot of people.  We were blessed to find a wonderful church family who has really come beside and help us work through our problems.  And by the grace of God here we still stand. We’re far from perfect and every day is a new struggle to do right and repair the wrongs that we have done. But we have seen God do tremendous things in our life.

I really can’t give an answer as to why we’re still together today.  There are so many times that our relationship should have ended or been too damaged to repair.  I don’t know how we’ve made it here, but I do know that we have learned that every day is a choice to love each other.  The feelings and emotions aren’t always there. In a way I think that all the crap we’ve been through has taught us some very valuable lessons about loving through the hard times and loving just to love and not because we’re receiving any kind of pleasure. I’m not to the point to say that I don’t regret our past or that I wouldn’t change certain things…I’m far too human for that. I have learned in a very real way that God is sovereign over our lives. In spite of our stupid, horrible choices He still works in a way to bring Himself glory. 

Our story isn’t entirely sad…we’re getting married Saturday! There have been so many special moments throughout our relationship that are precious to me. I wouldn’t change those times for anything in the world and they are sweet memories that I will carry until the day I die. It amazes me that we have made it this far, but we have! I can honestly say that I cannot wait to walk down the aisle on Saturday.

And my sweet Jeff…I can’t say enough about him.  He’s made some big mistakes and he is the first to tell you that. But he serves a bigger God who takes those mistakes and removes them as far as the east is from the west.  I’ve seen the transformation that has taken place in Him over the last year and the humble, godly man he is now is the man I always knew was there.  I am completely secure in committing the rest of my life to him. 

So that’s our story in a nutshell.  The man who I never imagined myself being with has become my best friend.  I can’t imagine my life without him.  I can say without a shadow of doubt that this is the man I am meant to be with forever.  I love him with all of my heart and am convinced that he loves me as well.

To those of you we’ve hurt: We are truly sorry that our actions have caused such pain for you. We ask for your forgiveness and your patience as we seek to rebuild relationships.  It’s hard to rebuild bridges that have been burned, but know that our heart’s desire is to have relationships restored and by God’s grace we will achieve that.

To everyone else who has taken the time to read this: We covet your prayers. Pray for us as we seek to restore relationships. Pray that God will continue to take our broken pieces and in time turn them into something beautiful. Pray that our marriage will be a picture of the redemption that God has shown us and that for the rest of our lives people will look at us and see Him.

For those of you who are able to join us the wedding will be this Saturday, October 27 at 2pm at Grace Church. The address is 3500 Charles Blvd., Greenville, NC.

Oh, Lord, I trust Your grace; it is enough, enough for me.
In every trial I shall trace its all-sufficiency.

And, Lord, I trust Your strength; in You alone I shall be strong:
My failing flesh will learn at length a daily triumph song.

Oh, trust in God, my soul, and look into His face.
Oh, trust in God, my soul; His holy will embrace.
Then I shall stand complete and whole, a trophy of His grace
As I trust God.

Oh, Lord, I trust Your Word; it gives me hope and light to see.
The path ahead, though now obscured, will open wide for me.

Oh, Lord, I trust Your love; I feel its warm and changeless glow;
My life or death shall only prove its everlasting flow.

Oh, trust in God, my soul, and look into His face.
Oh, trust in God, my soul; His holy will embrace.
Then I shall stand complete and whole, a trophy of His grace
As I trust God.